just the things i thought would one day be
by ellamo
Summary: Daniel takes a trip to Atlantis.


Thanks to thraesja for the excellent beta work. :)

The military-bred formality that Sam tends to carry herself with around the people of Atlantis dissolves in an instant the second she sees Daniel appear in the gate room. She smiles so hard that it hurts her face and throws her arms around him.

He hugs her back just as hard, his smile just as wide. "Missed you," he says, giving her an extra little squeeze that makes her gasp.

He's here on business, officially. Hoping to shed some light on a few new bits of Ancient technology with inscriptions that no one on the base can crack. She's hopes, selfishly, that it keeps him here for days. Weeks, even.

But she's got things to do right now and so does Daniel. Their reunion is cut short by McKay's bustling, excited voice. "Dinner," she says, fingers on his arm before he's all but jerked away from her. "Later?"

"Yeah," he grins at her. "Definitely."

*

The city is in relative peace, no threats lurking just outside their doorstep, and for once Sam ducks out of her office early. She's changed into a soft black sweater and jeans. Her feet are bare and she paints her toenails a soft baby blue.

It does not escape her notice that she's primping for him. Lip gloss, blush, perfume. She brushes her hair out, wondering if he likes the length more than her old shorter style. She wants to look nice. She wants to see his eyes go wide for a split second like they always do when he sees her out of uniform, that gut reaction that he quickly schools into normality.

He does not disappoint. He even smiles at her when he sees her, wide and sincere. "Wow," he says, instantly reaching out to touch her hair. "It's gotten so long."

"Yeah," she smiles back, stepping aside to let him in. "I grabbed us some stuff from the mess hall, thought you might want to just hang out here?"

"Sounds great." He's carrying a rucksack that he drops just inside the door. "I brought some DVDs, stuff that's come out recently that I figured you guys might not have gotten here yet."

"That sounds perfect," she says.

*

"Feel like old times?" she asks, getting up to switch discs. When she sits back down on what passes for a couch in the Pegasus galaxy, she sits closer to him. His outstretched arm touches her shoulders and he pulls it down around her, snugging her up close against him.

"Yeah… except no Jack talking through the movie."

"Or Teal'c pretending not to get references just so Jack has to explain them?"

Daniel laughs and Sam feels a sudden rush of affection. She reaches up and touches his face, pulling it down toward her so she can press a short kiss to his mouth.

"What's that for?" he asks, eyebrows high in surprise.

She shrugs. "I just forgot how darn cute you are."

Daniel makes a face, scrunching up his nose. "I am no such thing."

"Don't argue with me, Jackson." She shifts around to face him and draws a leg up underneath her. "You know I always win."

"Nuh-uh," he says, the hand still across the back of the couch lifting to poke her shoulder. "At the very most, it's a tie. Usually."

His hand rests there, fingers tugging at a lock of hair. "Pretty," he says, then uses it to tug her closer. "Did I mention yet that you look really good?"

She leans in, stomach fluttering pleasantly. "Yeah."

"And that I've missed you?"

"Yeah." Her smile deepens. He's leaning toward her and she returns the favor, tilting her body toward his.

"Sam," Daniel lets go of her hair. His hand drifts down her arm, fingers coming to rest against her wrist. "I think…"

"Yeah?" They're close enough now that their noses almost touch. The movie plays on behind them.

*

"Oh, God," Daniel groans, rolling off of her. His hair is ruffled from her fingers and he's got a loopy sort of grin on his face, very characteristic, she's found, of a man who has just gotten laid. It's a silly but nice reminder that at the end of the day, no matter how many times he's died or Ascended or saved the universe, Daniel is still just a guy.

Sam tugs the sheet up to ward off a chill. Her skin is sticky with sweat and she feels pleasantly wrung out. Daniel looks about the same, his eyes closed and one arm flung over his head. She reaches out and presses an open hand to his chest, feeling the thudding of his heart.

"That was nice." She curls up closer to him.

He smiles at her, wide and open and beautiful, and reaches for her.

She makes a face. "We need to shower."

"Mmm," he agrees. "But I don't want to move."

She rubs her nose against his bicep. "Me either."

"Sleep, then shower?"

"Good plan."

*

"So, you and Jack never…" Daniel asks over breakfast in the mess hall.

"Would it matter if we had?" Sam takes a bite of an Athosian biscuit slathered in apple jelly. His hair is still damp from their shared shower and if she were ten years younger she'd be blushing right now.

He shrugs. "Not really. I'd just like to know."

"Okay, then." Sam puts her fork down and looks at him. "The short answer is no. He and I never… anything. Not in this universe, anyway."

"Right, the… the parallel stuff." He looks relieved.

She looks down at her breakfast and pauses before saying. "You and Vala?"

"What?" He shakes his head. "N-no, just. A kiss or two, but nothing – not. No. Not since she joined the team."

"Right. But she wants to?"

Daniel shrugs. "To be honest, I don't even know if she knows what she wants. I told her it wasn't going to happen though. I uh, may have led her to believe the frat regs apply to us."

"Right," Sam says. Frat regs. Two words that inhibited her social life for almost a decade. She feels a pang, a lingering want, but pushes it aside. This is a big new galaxy and with Daniel here she feels like she's ready for more big and new things in her life. Not that sex itself is new – but sex with Daniel? That definitely qualifies as new.

Something must have slipped through in her voice, because Daniel inspects her a little more closely. "So if you and I do this, is Jack gonna hunt me down and castrate me?"

"Daniel," she teases. "I think we've already 'done it'."

"You know what I meant." He rolls his eyes.

Sam shrugs. "He has no right to be upset."

"But…"

"But I don't know. You know him better than I do." She says. It's honesty, not bitterness. There are a million reasons that Sam and Jack never became the best of friends and most of them have to do with the fact that neither of them had enough confidence in their ability to draw the lines.

"I love him," Daniel says. "I don't want to risk losing his friendship if this..."

She thinks it's a good thing that he doesn't finish that sentence.

"Daniel, I love him, too. But I've already put enough things in my life on hold for him. I don't want him to be the reason I can't have this, too."

He gives her a look of understanding, which she finds wonderfully comforting. "Okay. I just wanted to make sure."

*

Daniel kisses her once, twice, three times – the barest pressing of lips – before Sam gets impatient and closes in on him.

"This is so silly," she says, looping her arms around his neck. "We're not teenagers. I don't remember the last time I spent my lunch break necking."

"Sam." He lifts an eyebrow at her. "I don't know about you, but I did more studying than… necking, as you put it, when I was a teenager."

She thinks back to all those hours spent pouring over textbooks and reading papers, hiding away in labs and losing hours to the intoxicating lure of science. "Okay, maybe you're right. Kiss me again, nerd boy."

*

"Daniel," Sam squeezes his hand, jarring him out of a distracted haze.

"What is this?" he finally asks, his last day in Atlantis. He managed to draw out the translation work for four days longer than it should have taken him but Landry wants him back on earth and the military isn't exactly in the habit of letting people just hang around the Atlantis for the hell of it. "Just a thing, or what?"

"I don't think you and I could ever be just a thing. You're a part of my life, Daniel. But I think that this… this could work. I wasn't sure if we'd click, like… that," she says, meaning sexually. "But we do, we really do."

"Oh, God, do we ever," he says, so vehemently that she has to laugh. "So what I'm thinking is, I'll try and pull some strings to get stationed here."

"Daniel," Sam smiles warmly. "You're the foremost expert on Ancient technology. I think all you have to do is hint that you want to be here and they'll make a position for you."

"Yeah? And that's something you'd like?"

"I…" The words don't seem to want to come easily for her. "I'd love having you here, but if you're being stationed here I couldn't… we couldn't do this. You'd be under my command."

He doesn't look too surprised by that. He shrugs, looking down at his hands. "Yeah, I figured it'd be something like that. Worth a shot, though."

"But that doesn't mean…" She's frustrated that she's in this position again, about to turn someone else away because of her sense of duty and responsibility. "I still want you."

"I get it." His voice has an edge to it that she hasn't heard in a long time. She feels dangerously out of her depth here.

"I won't be here forever." She tries to tell him.

"Yeah?" He looks at her. "That what you told Jack, too?"

She feels her face redden. "Low blow, Daniel."

"Yeah, I guess you and Jack never really talked enough that you felt like you had to tell him anything, right?" Daniel sits back, frustrated.

"I didn't ask him to wait on me. I didn't think it would do any good. He and I – there's too much build up there. If we got together, it could never be good enough in our minds to justify the last ten years of waiting."

"But you're asking me to wait?"

Hesitation flickers across her face. "I'm telling you that I'd like it if you did wait."

"Sam." Daniel is exasperated. "Just say what you feel for once."

"Will you wait for me, Daniel?"

He nods, slowly. "I'll… think about it."

*

The answer that he gave her wasn't the answer she wanted, or the one she thought she was going to hear. But, as he steps back through the gate, returning to Earth and to the rest of his life, she realizes that it's not a no, and for the moment she'll take what she can get.


End file.
